A timeline of random events in my life.

1980– Born, bouncing baby girl.

1985– Family buys cottage in Buckhorn where I spend many happy childhood summers.

1996– Officially dubbed crazy by psychiatrists- I don’t fall for their bullshit.

1996– Start dating Christopher, the man I eventually marry.

1997– Leave oppressive Catholic high-school and go to alternative self-paced school. My tounge swallows the jewellery from my tounge piercing. Can’t talk. Must remove piercing.

1998– Realize I won’t get into university by smoking pot and working at my own pace. Go back to a regularly structured high-school. Pierce my tounge again. It works this time. I keep it for about a year then get bored with it.

1998– Graduate. Get a few scholarships to university, but decide to learn Sign Language in college instead. Work in candle factory all summer.

1998– Move to Toronto, go to college full time in the Sign Language program.

1999– Get pregnant with Aidan, graduate from Sign Language program, move back to hometown.

Find myself working shifts in Candle factory again. Try to finagle maternity leave money from Candle Factory to no avail. Feel nervous.

2000– Aidan is born, I go mildly crazy.

Live in apartment with big kitchen but many mice.

Begin to wonder if “they” were right with their bullshit.
Start waitressing. Stop Waitressing.

Government refuses me financial support of any kind because Christopher is a student.

The three of us live on a student loan income for one person.

2001– Intense anger at governmental sexism propels me to study social work in hometown college.

Break up with Christopher, get my own apartment.

2002– Christopher and I get back together. Get engaged. Move back in together.

2003– Graduate and simultaneously work 4 part time jobs in hometown to make ends meet, doing shift work and balancing crazy schedules.

2003 Later– Get married. Find one full time job that can actually pay bills. Leave hometown and move to Richmond Hill for job. Start part time university. Drop out. Focus instead on current career.

2004– Realize that even adults and people in positions of power have no fucking clue what they are doing. Feel comforted.

Learn to knit.

Feel disconnected from social work career. Think of becoming a web designer instead. Envision life as a corporate sell out and seek comfort in the drastic contrast to my current job. Start college night school program in web design.

Decide to have another baby. Try. Twelve unwanted periods later, finally get pregnant.

2005– Graduate from program at University of Toronto in “Solution Focused Counselling.” Love this program. Begin to wonder if I should go back to school full time to become therapist. Feel connected again to social work career.

2005– Baby George born in our living room, weighing 10 pounds 4 ounces. Maternity leave begins.

April 2006– Can’t believe the bank gives us a mortgage. Feel like I am pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes. Buy nice house in Aurora. Decide not to go back to work in June as originally planned.

Realize full time daycare for two children costs almost costs as much as I make, Extend maternity leave until September.

August 2006– Spend night in hotel with husband for the first time ever. Love it. Feel pangs of sadness that husband and I didn’t get to have young carefree love as adults. Don’t want to go home ever. But we do. Pack 12 boxes. Fill out daycare papers. Mortgage papers. School papers.

This very second– Listen to baby scream in crib, wonder how other parents get their children to nap. Nervously engage in a bad habit. Remember that maternity leave is over in one week. Feel both elated and frightened.

Realize that life is a series of ups and downs. Understand that I can handle whatever it throws my way. Realize that I am strong. Notice I am resilient.

Decide to honour myself.